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Enjoy these views of the chaotic world around us. Click on "Pages" in the right column below my bio for additional expressions of life in the fast lane. Share your thoughts by contacting me at mmjagger1946@gmail.com

Press Update


Every time I turn on my computer or I-pad or I-phone, it seems I have at least one update to do—you know the little “1” right above the settings icon?  It drives me crazy! It seems to me I just finished updating the last update last week? Or was it yesterday?  But the damn computer just keeps replacing itself with new updates required! I tried ignoring the requests—in fact, I never comply with the request to update—until the infernal day when I can’t get my computer to work.  I am mandated to update –OR ELSE –or else I can never use my computer again. The computer has blocked all my activities, and I am banned from using any     function until I comply!

“OK”, I say to myself, “How long can it take anyhow?”  Kiss of death words!  Just yesterday I found out. The computer was probably punishing me for non-compliance.  I had X’d out the,

“ We have new updates for you”, so many times that the computer was pissed at me.  So, I figured I’d get it over with.  I had an hour and was planning to write another blog post.  I thought it would take about 5, maybe 10 minutes at the most to update.  Wrong!
 
The new IOS operating system took 60 minutes to update.  I sat there looking like a jackass, staring at the screen, hoping against all hope that the update would be complete before the sun set!  There was no “update” from the system as to how long it might take and exactly how long I had to go before I could resume normal activities on my computer.  And then the computer told me in a stern warning-“Do NOT shut the computer down.”  Well, I didn’t know just how much damage I might have caused if I disobeyed the computer, so I just keep staring at the computer hoping it would be done with the update.
 
 By now, I knew there wouldn’t be enough time to write my blog, and besides, I was turning into “Zombie Girl” from so much inactivity, and I was transfixed to the screen.  Be still my heart! “Your update is complete” appeared on the screen.  But just at the exact moment I was going to shut my computer down until later, since I had missed my golden opportunity to write while the inspiration seeped from my brain, another sentence paralyzed me:  “There is one more update we need to perform.”  What?  The computer never told me how long this update would take, but I knew I must obey.  Zombie Girl would comply. 

Well, you guessed it, the update added on to the other update was complete and then, to my astonishment, a third update needed to be applied.  It didn’t say what for, or how long, or if this would be the end of the updates, but it seemed I was in an update loop of some kind.  What was I to do?  I vowed if another update appeared after the third update was applied that it was all over. I would never touch my computer again.  And I told my computer so, loudly and clearly.  I also told my computer I would exile it to the basement instead of its prominent place on the kitchen counter. I figured maybe I could reason with it.  I couldn’t sit like a Zombie Girl all day and meekly wait for my turn at the computer. I couldn’t let the computer control me.  I knew I had to assert myself.  I knew I was losing it when I started my one way conversation with my computer. What was I going to do after all?  Well, in the end, all was resolved.  The IOS operating system is updated—I can’t see any difference between the old and the new IOS but who am I to try to outwit this computer.  I had one major update and three more updates to make my computer run smoothly. I just opened up my computer this morning. OMG!  You guessed it, another “update” is requested.  I “X-ed” that update out as fast as my digits would move.  I don’t want any more damned updates! But I know I’ll pay for that move—someday, but not today.  Zombie Girl had work to do!

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