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Enjoy these views of the chaotic world around us. Click on "Pages" in the right column below my bio for additional expressions of life in the fast lane. Share your thoughts by contacting me at mmjagger1946@gmail.com

Saturday, August 6, 2016

Quick!! Are You a Label Peeler?


Quick! Take a look at your shampoo, or the trash can in your bathroom, or even your scented candles.  If you notice a label or a price tag from when you purchased that item, you shouldn’t be inviting me to your house
any time soon! I am a professed “label peeler” and I have been from the time I could walk.  Most people just buy an item and have no problem just using it, enjoying it, not ever worrying about the “label”, you know, the label that tells the world you got a bargain at Marshall’s for $3.99, or that proclaims to the world the severe penalties that will incur should you, “remove a mattress tag” from a mattress you purchased and that is taunting you and sticking out every time you make the bed. Ditto for tags that stick outside the pillowcases on new pillows!


I was using the bathroom at my friend’s house recently (if you’re a friend of mine, don’t feel you have to check all your bathrooms for unplucked labels). As I said, I was actually sitting on the commode and noticed a step stool under the sink, which I supposed her small grandkids use to wash their hands.  Well, bonus time! Not only was there one label directly on the top of the step stool which read:  ”Caution:  Completely open ends to locked position before use.”  And in large bolded black lettering, “Not for use on uneven or slippery surfaces.”  Dah!  Now I know this stool has been under the sink for a couple of years at least, but the large yellow and blue label was intact, on the stool, sneering at me. I reached over from my perch on the toilet seat (pardon me), and plucked that large decal off immediately! Pure white spot where the decal was! I bet I’ll get caught since the rest of the step stool
was worn and definitely not white.  Oh, well. I ripped off the decal on the side of the stool too.  That one showed visuals of how to climb up and down off the stool! Well, I guess my friend’s grandkid had that one mastered since the stairs were well worn!  Now the stool was naked of all obvious labelling, but the imprint of those decals was conspicuous.  My bad!
 

As an educator, I have a major pet peeve with entering college freshmen, and for that matter anyone who has ever taken a college course anywhere!   I swear I can tell the level of studying that will be done in the course by whomever has taken off the numerous stickers affixed to their folders and three ring binders.  I tell the students that the three ring binders can never truly be their own UNTIL the labels (which came off easily) are peeled from their various resting places, particularly the spine! So that would be the first thing I would do! “Own the three ring binders or the folders!  Take control of them, ” I would tell my students passionately! Take off the damn stickers that make the binders store property!


Some stickers are more easily taken off than others! It seems that everything now- a- days is labeled, from  sports arenas,  to sweat pants that streak, “PINK” across the backside.  Can’t anyone buy a shirt or pair of shoes, or jewelry that does not have a label attached to them?   It’s become a status symbol with no way to peel them off. 

 

Even the cars we buy are labeled with the cherry on top.  You know what I mean, those status symbol trinkets jauntily proclaiming luxury! If I say jaguar, you think of? The symbol of an animal which cost a gazillion dollars, that hood ornament which screams, “I am rich.  I am a Jaguar!”  Ditto for those haute couture fashion designers, the ones at high end malls with guards inside --making sure their labels are safe from ordinary people who can’t or won’t pay $5,000. for a designer purse!


Well, maybe this annoying habit of mine, label and price peeling, will fade in time, but for now, not so much.  In fact, I just went back to the bathroom in my friend’s house, and checked UNDER the new bottle of hand washing soap with the great scent in the designer bottle, and yes, there it was-- the worn out price label. Scratch, scratch… I went straight to work, removing the price tag and placed it back exactly where I found it. Now, she owns the lovely hand soap! I won’t tell!

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